Lately I’ve been thinking about and healing from the loss of a relationship. One that was once central to my life. Someone I shared my deepest thoughts with. Someone I could wholeheartedly be myself around. In many ways, they helped me better understand who I am simply by holding space for me to express it.

There had been a shift in our relationship that I had started to notice over the last few years, but I chose to let it be. I guess part of me didn’t want to face that we were growing apart. But, it was a defining moment in the fall of last year that really set our drift into motion.  

And then they let it go. Without a conversation. Without a fight for the relationship I thought we had. So I made the decision to walk away, not out of anger, but because I needed to protect my peace and my sense of self.

Over the last several months I’ve done a lot of healing. Not always loudly. Sometimes in small, quiet acknowledgments. Other times through reflection, or writing, or tears that came out of nowhere. What I’ve come to understand is this: I’m moving through it by honoring who I became through knowing them.

Some people change in ways that expand them. Others condition themselves into someone they think they need to be. And sometimes that means aligning with ideals that are deeply harmful, even if they don’t recognize it.

I’ve come to accept that. Not agree with it. But accept that it is what it is.

I move forward by allowing myself to feel whatever heartache, pain, or loss still lingers. But I balance it with the joy. The laughter. The growth. The gratitude for the parts of our friendship that were real and good.

Perhaps there’s a version of the future where our lives intersect again. Where healing makes room for reconnection. But even then, the chapter we once shared will remain closed.

I’ve made peace with that. And while there is grief in losing someone you once saw as your safe space, there is also healing in remembering what they gave you at one point in time. That version of them mattered. And it helped shape the version of me that exists now.

That’s how I move forward.