Preface
This piece is inspired by something I wrote back in 2013 called Becoming (Part One). It was written during a major turning point in my life, and in many ways, this post is a continuation of that journey. But it’s also inspired by what has happened since then, by growth, by reflection, and by human connection.

At the time, I thought I might eventually write a Part 2. But I wasn’t sure what that would look like or when the moment would feel right. A lot has transpired in the last 12 years, and I plan to create a blog series called Steps Remembered to highlight some of those pivotal moments. That series will begin with a rework of Becoming (Part One), but for now, this piece is rooted in where I am today. It’s shaped by the years between then and now, by the beauty of connection, and by what it feels like to be standing in this current moment with open eyes and an open heart.

Now, on the edge of 41, it feels like the time is right for this piece to come to life. Not because everything suddenly makes sense, but because there’s been a shift both around me and within me. A new season has started. I feel change settling in. A sense of clarity. A deeper understanding of who I am. As if I’ve finally stepped into an era where I’m starting to understand what becoming really means. It’s not a finish line. It’s a quiet, steady unfolding of who I’ve always been, just with more intention and less fear.

Becoming (Part 2): Reflections of Then, Steps Toward Now

With any step forward, there’s space to reflect. 

When I think back, there were so many years I was just going through the motions. Not really living in the moment. Not holding on to the now or being present with the people around me. I felt disconnected, and some of those years are blurry. I wonder why I didn’t live more intentionally. Why I didn’t reach out more. Why I didn’t truly connect.

But lately, I’ve come to realize that this journey isn’t just about my own growth. It’s about how my presence, my words, my energy ripple out into the lives of others. That realization came into focus recently in a way I wasn’t expecting.

A woman visited one of our stores with her family. A few years ago, she’d come in with her daughter to make candles shortly after we opened our first store. She told me that afternoon with her daughter had been one of the highlights of their trip. That her daughter and I connected. That I helped bring her out of her shell.

She returned this year to honor her daughter’s memory. It had been one year since she passed. I was deeply moved. She didn’t have to tell me that, but she did. And in doing so, she reminded me of something I think we all need to hear:

You don’t always know the impact you make. Sometimes, just being yourself, kind, present, open, is enough to change someone’s life. Or at the very least, to give them a moment of joy they’ll carry forward.

That conversation stayed with me. Not just because of the sadness or the gratitude in her voice, but because it reminded me of how deeply we affect each other, often without even realizing it. A moment. A connection. A shared laugh. You never know what someone will carry with them. It sparked something in me. A reminder that true connection matters and that we should never take it for granted.

It also made me think. Do we really understand the power we have to shift someone’s day? To shape a memory? To change the energy in a room just by showing up as ourselves? Maybe it’s something we feel in passing, a fleeting realization. But what if we lived with that truth in mind every day? What if we treated our presence, our conversations, and even our smallest acts of kindness as something sacred?

We all have that power. Every single day. We can choose to lead with kindness. To listen more. To ask people how they’re really doing. To see beyond the surface.

And if I’m becoming anything in this season of life, it’s someone who wants to live in that truth more fully.

It’s not about becoming someone new. It’s about stepping more fully into the version of me I’ve been building, sometimes without even knowing it. One step at a time. Now with better habits, better boundaries, and more grace for the process.

That sense of awakening I felt while learning a new language and walking unfamiliar streets was just the beginning. It shifted the horizon line of who I thought I was and what life could feel like. That moment reminded me how much life there still is to explore, around me and within me. And with that reflection came something deeper.

It made me think not just about what’s ahead, but also about what I’ve already moved through. Because the truth is, there were seasons, many, in fact, when I wasn’t sure if things would get better. But they did. Maybe not all at once, but slowly. Gently. In the same way I’ve learned to hold hope alongside the hard stuff.

And in the same way I’m coming to understand and move forward with my anxiety. It’s real. It’s part of me. And it’ll always be there, but it doesn’t have to control me. I’m learning how to live with it. To sit with it. To even befriend it.

For so long, I moved through life reacting, not reflecting. It felt easier to just drift. But that ease came with a cost. I don’t want to live disconnected anymore. I want to move with clarity and intention.

And sometimes that clarity comes in the middle of the bounce. When everything feels unsettled, but something within you starts to calm. That’s when your intentions come into view. That’s when forward motion starts to feel like progress.

I’m learning that the more I open myself to others, their stories, their grief, their joy, the more I become whole. I’m learning how healing can happen in quiet conversations and shared silences. How connection is a form of resistance in a world that often pulls us apart.

I’ve been lucky to be surrounded by some wonderful humans who’ve helped me more than I can say. People who’ve stayed connected through the changes, who remind me who I am even when I forget. That kind of support has shaped so much of what this season of becoming feels like.

A friend once said that your forties bring clarity. That you start to feel more grounded in your truth. I’m only just starting this decade, but this past year has already taught me so much about boundaries, about relationships, about what really matters. And I know I want this next chapter to be one of purpose, resilience, kindness, and self-love. I want to be here. Fully here. For myself. For those I love. And for the world I’m part of.

As I reflect on the past while fully living in the steps of now, I believe in those small, human moments even more. In kindness as a daily practice. In listening as a form of love. I’ve spent so much of my life watching, learning, observing. I’ve learned from my own experiences, but just as much from other people’s. There’s knowledge in stories. There’s wisdom in connection.

And I think that’s what the world needs more of. True connection. Real presence. The willingness to get uncomfortable. To feel. To listen. To care. Not for the sake of performance, but because we’re human. Because we need each other. 

As I enter this new year of life, I feel like I’m becoming a more grounded version of myself. A little softer. A little clearer.

I’m still learning. Still messing up. Still growing. But I care more deeply than ever. About people. About intention. About showing up for what matters.

Maybe you’re in your own season of becoming too. Maybe you’ve felt something shift.

And maybe the best part of becoming is this: None of us are doing it alone.

A birthday wish
May we all take this season of change in the world and become the most open, loving, and fully human versions of ourselves. We really are in this together. And each of us gets to choose what kind of impact we’ll make.

So what will your choice be?